Researching and Speaking With Senior Parents and Close Family Members
Taking the time to research and speak with siblings and close family members may often provide you with clues and information about a parent’s well-being and personal care wishes; however, the best person to speak with directly about their future care decisions is the one you are the most concerned about, the elderly parent.
Challenging Conversations
One of the most challenging conversations many adult children will have with a senior parent is the one about their plans regarding future care, should they become incapacitated. Unfortunately, conversations about future care, along with end of life care decisions are avoided much too frequently. Some parents may scoff at the suggestion of needing home health care let alone needing to make an end of life care decision. However, this conversation angst is not always the case. In fact, many older seniors welcome the opportunity to discuss the type of care they want or may need in the future, along with end of life care decisions.
What Type of Care Do Your Parents Need
Once a decision has been made about providing home health care for a senior loved, some adult children make the mistake of looking for a quick and easy solution. In fact, some have made the mistake of renting a room to unscrupulous strangers, in exchange for caring for their parents; it seemed like an easy way out, but a dangerous and risky option nonetheless.
Others make the error of signing on with a caregiver registry. In the case of these registries, peace of mind goes away when clients find out the registry’s caregivers are independent contract workers and not the registry’s employees. Questions also arise about bonding, insurance and federal taxes.
An accredited and state licensed home health care agency is often the best option when looking for trained and bonded caregivers to provide the best possible care for senior parents. A home health care agency is very different from a registry because the agency's caregivers are employees of the agency and not independent contractors.
Warning Signs and Examples of When Care Services are Needed
The following are just few signs and examples that may signal elderly relatives or parents need assistance and home health care:
1. You visited mom and noticed she was not eating well. In addition, she is not remembering her morning medications. The neighbor’s teenage son cannot come over and roll the trash bin into her garage because he moved away to go to college. And the friend across the street cannot drive mom to the store anymore because her license has been revoked.
2. Grandmother has gained weight and is not exercising like she should. She is becoming so forgetful that she did not even know how to get to her hairdresser. In fact, this is the same hairdresser she has been going to on every month for the last three years.
3. Your uncle ran out the front door at midnight in his underwear. You did not know about the underwear escapade until your uncle’s neighbors and the local police called to tell you about your 80-year-old uncle’s impulsive midnight antics.
4. Do you have an elderly relative who is showing warning signs of self-neglect? Self-neglect is also a sign a senior loved one is neglecting their personal care. According to the National Committee for the Prevention of Elder Abuse, self-neglect occurs when seniors refuse care or do not care for themselves because of factors they’re not even aware of or factors they are unable to control. The National Committee for the Prevention of Elder Abuse’s website lists self-neglect as a form of abuse, under the subheading Types of Abuse. The NCEA defines the following about self-neglect:
“Self-neglect is characterized as the behavior of an elderly person that threatens
his/her own health or safety. Self-neglect generally manifests itself in an older
person as a refusal or failure to provide himself/herself with adequate food,
water, clothing, shelter, personal hygiene, medication (when indicated), and
safety precautions.”
5. Unfortunately, passive neglect is another condition family members should consider as an important warning sign. This type of neglect takes place when a spouse or family member is not able, or becomes too ill and cannot provide appropriate care for another senior under his or her care. When one spouse becomes too ill to care for another it should signal a need for change of care; an immediate care will be needed for both family members, and not just one.
6. An elderly parent has fallen, has had hip surgery, and family members cannot provide care when released from the hospital because they are not in the immediate area to follow up and to provide needed assistance.
7. A grandmother is relatively healthy, but needs to start a daily physical routine. She needs encouragement and a companion to walk with her 30 minutes a day, but is afraid to proceed because of a previous fall.
All of these examples show a need for assistance and care at many different levels. We hope this list may be able to guide you in the right direction should your parents or loved ones need assistance, companionship or home health care.
Should you or a loved one need care, do not hesitate to contact Senior Helpers. We will be glad to discuss our services.
Resources:
Types of Abuse - National Center on Elder Abuse. Retrieved from http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/FAQ/Type_Abuse/index.aspx
